i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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