I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
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