remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
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