I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hippo gnu deer
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
