Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
