he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
