FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize