Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
