I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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