I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
this will be a night to untag.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
