She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
