she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
