You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
