btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
