I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
not ubering you a puppy
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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