Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
