I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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