We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
