so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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