I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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