a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
