She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
