tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
