Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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