Having a random hookup so left but love u
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
