Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
