just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
