So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
