Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
