No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
