i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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