Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
