so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
