He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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