I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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