do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
