And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
