And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
