in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
