I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
