we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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