I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
