i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
