she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
