dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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