What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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