i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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