You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
