Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
