You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
