You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
